Multi-tasking

Third hand, yet accurate tale of the mind of a four year old. Small child observes mother brushing hair and cleaning teeth at same time.

"What are you doing Mummy"

"Its called multi-tasking"

Later

Child shouts from toilet:
"Mummy! Guess what - I'm multi-tasking! Having a poo and a wee!

Avril Lavigne - The next Joni Mitchell?

With lyrics this good how can she fail?

[Bridge]
Shes like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And thats what everyones talking about!


what puzzles me is the first line .... is there supposed to be a comma ... or... whatever?

I hate this stuff. And its in my head... get me the trepanning kit someone. please.

Buckwheat Maelstrom

Some 15 years ago (literally) I made Buckwheat Bake. It had such great promise - vegetarian, nutritious - and alliterative to boot. It was not a success then as my auld pal Simplywondered never forgets to remind me.

15 years later and oh fickle memory! You betray me such that my recollection of the experience is dimmed so much I try to re-make this hell-dish again. Never, ever make anything with buckwheat. It bubbles and festers in the pot like a witches brew. It sticks to the pan like welded sheet steel. It solidifies into a briquette of tasteless and distressing detritus.

And a look at Wikipedia confirms the dark heritage of this so called 'food': buckwheat can be used as an upholstery filling and is made into a jelly in Korea. Lord help the blighted residents of Preston County, West Virginia who have a buckwheat festival.

Democracy Online

*slumps down a bit in chair*

Yeah, this is actually my job too do this kind of thing. a bit.

But since this Blog is about trivia lets focus on e-Petitioning the Prime Minister! Hoorah! - for the inspiring Tom Steinberg has Made This So here.

And so we can laugh at what petitions have been put forward.

My two favourites so far, before this well-intentioned venture goes into comedy meltdown, are:

"We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to replace the national anthem with 'Gold' by Spandau Ballet"

and

"We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to stand on his head and juggle ice-cream."

Funky Monkey and the BAAAD food

My "Life Partner" (oh alright, "Wife"), returns from amusing Reception class entertainment for 3 year olds full of amusement at the resemblance to 'Legz Akimbo' from League of Gentlemen. The subject of the afternoon's entertainment is 'HEALTHY EATING'. 3 year olds sit neatly, agog, whilst wide eyed young woman breathily retells the story of a monkey with bad eating habits. YUK he eats SWEETS, until HOORAH the jungle Doctor recommends a more balanced approach with 5 portions a day and ya di ya di yah....

Youngest child is quizzed by me later whilst standing on my study carpet- I sit pipe in mouth in my leather chair (ref "When Do You Last See Your Father" style pictures.)- as to the moral of this tale.

"The monkey had a bad tummy and ate some sweets which made him better".

Booo .. Haloooo weeeennn!

oh yes it is - according to my local, yet somehow World Famous hot takeaway bakery Greggs.

Ever ones to cash in on seasonal events they have plastered huge posters over each shop with a scarey GHOST next to ... a sausage roll, pretty much like this one.

I've never been spooked by meat based hot takeaway food, and this Haloween is no exception.

They also had a 'spooky' sandwich on a very similar poster. Looked pretty average. Maybe it had a severed finger in it or something.

Whatever Happened to Haslet?

There it is! Look! On your keyboard!

I loves haslet me, but it turns into a vague approximation the further from Lincolnshire one heads. And speaking of heads ... lets here it for BRAWN.

Slap on the vinegar and you will be as happy as a sand boy. Except if you are a vegetarian ... you cowering cowardly coward! You may therefore prefer the gamers version.

Back to Life, Back to Mordor

So my mate has lent me a huge breezeblock sized DVD collection of the LOTR trilogy, complete with what the actors ate for breakfast ... their pets .... what was Tolkein's favourite colour... etc..

I've only got as far as watching The Fellowship and I am disappointed to find no mini-documentary analysing why Lurtz, leader of the Uruk Hai orcs, is being played by Jazzy B from 80's club classic group Soul II Soul:

Lurtz

























Jazzy B




















or maybe this then?